Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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