go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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