She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
