Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
