today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize