But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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