Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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