So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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