At least make sure they are 18
Why
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize