I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
