Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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