Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
