I faked an abortion last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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