yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
