absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
