By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
