I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
