Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
