I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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