I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
