Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
