well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize