I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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