I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
