I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
