Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
