and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
