Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that's an acceptable place to lick
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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