Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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