Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize