this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
