is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
