I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
