well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
