Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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