how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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