Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
