We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
