what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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