Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
