It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
