glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
