guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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