margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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