i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
