I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
