you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
