Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize