well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
