I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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