Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
