By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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