Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
