i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You can't special order awesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
