that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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