Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize