Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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