We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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