It's like God shit irony all over that family
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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