Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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