it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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