i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
