Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
