i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
