Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
