Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
